Chapter Twenty-Eight

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Chapter Twenty-Eight

APOV

Was it a normal reaction to be terrified of a twelve-year-old?  Or her opinion of you?  Or approval?  

I felt like this was some kind of test; a deal breaker.  That if Caroline didn’t like me, the door was right over there.  

Then I panicked because I didn’t even know how to make someone like me.  I’d never cared before.  People could just go fuck themselves because I didn’t need their approval or permission.  I was fine on my own.  This though, this was important.  It was important to Tyler, which meant it had to be important to me.  And so it was important to make sure that Caroline liked me.  God, how did people do this?  How did you even do that?  Make yourself likable.  Make yourself seem good enough to be Tyler’s girlfriend.  Should I be into stuff Caroline was into?  Did kids like that shit?  To, like, relate?  I could barely even remember what being a kid was like.  I’d never done much that was “kid stuff.”  What the fuck was “kid stuff?”  She was almost a teenager.  Did that mean she was still a kid, or should I treat her like an adult?  Would that be right or bad?  What was cool to a twelve year old?  

Fuck.  I didn’t even know what was cool to an adult!  

Oh my God, this was going to be a complete disaster.  I felt like having a crying breakdown right this minute was a really good idea, and I hadn’t even met her yet!

Tyler’s only advice had been: “Allison.  Chill.  She’ll love you.  Just be yourself.”

Be myself?  Was he fucking kidding?  What the fuck kind of answer was that?  A bullshit, after-school special pep talk!?  

I wasn’t even this nervous for my first date with him!  And that had been bad enough!  My hands were all cold and clammy.  This was so not normal.  

He was picking Caroline up and bringing her to meet me at what he thought was neutral ground.  I mean, I thought that’s what he was doing anyway.  Picking a random location that was at least somewhat familiar to me, because he’d picked Chelsea Piers where we’d gone ice skating, and an activity that was not… He fucking picked bowling.  I have no idea why.  Maybe kids liked that shit.  Maybe Caroline did and he was trying to pick something she liked.  

All I knew was that he was due to walk through the door with her any second, and I was so fucking nervous, I was nearly hyperventilating.  I should have brought a gift or something.  Butter her up.  Get on her good side right away.  Definitely should have gotten a gift.  One that said: Here, instantly like me because I got you this…

I forced myself to stop chewing through my fingernail when the door opened and he held it open for her, ushering her inside.  In fact, I forced myself to try to stay still, and I think I wound up coming off even more nervous because I was so obvious.  

He seemed completely relaxed and they were smiling and chuckling when they came over, so apparently she did not share my nervousness.  Figures.  She had nothing to lose here.

“Hey,” Tyler said, as they stopped in front of me.  “Allison, this is my sister Caroline.  Caroline, this is my girlfriend, Allison.”

Well.  I mean…I was even surprised by that already.  Not that he said it, really, but just… Yeah, that he said it.  That he totally just started it that way.  Like, here—sister meets girlfriend.  I smiled at her, shooting him a quick look, and did we shake hands?  Was that what you did with a little sister?  I sort of just waited for her lead and thought even my “Hi,” sounded fumbled and shaky.

“Hi,” Caroline said back.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ.  This was so gonna bomb.  She was half his age and four times as polite.  How did he ever think this was going to go well!?  I cleared my throat, trying to seem normal anyway.  “It’s really nice to meet you, too.”  She nodded to me, ducking her head a bit.  “Tyler’s told me a lot about you.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Well, then you obviously know way more, since he’s been keeping you a secret like it’s a matter of national security.  I barely got your name out of him.”

Had anyone else said that, I think I would have panicked even more at that, but she said it so…easily.  And not at all in the snobby, sarcastic tone that other people would have.  She just meant exactly what she said, nothing more, and I had a flash of Tyler telling me one time he liked hanging out with her because there was no bullshit.  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.  Or maybe she was exactly like her brother, and she was trying to tell me that our playing field was even.  That she knew nothing about me, and was just there to learn.  Maybe I was fucking nuts and twelve-year-olds didn’t even think of shit like that.  “Well, you can ask me anything you want.”

“Within reason,” Tyler added, winking at me.  

“Right,” I agreed, really having no clue what I was agreeing to.  

“Don’t give her an inch, she’ll take a mile,” he added, nudging her with his arm.  “She’s sneaky about it, too.  Let’s get shoes.”

And the introductions were kind of over.  Just like that.  It seemed all very…anticlimactic.  So…we just hung out then?  That was it?  Huh.  

Tyler fielded shoes and then we were on a search for the perfect bowling ball.  And somehow I wound up with that task with Caroline alone.  Tyler went off in search of his own, and he totally just left me with her.  I mean, it wasn’t like she was an infant, but it was uncomfortable, and I hated him from afar when he craned his head back to smirk at me from across the bowling alley.  Jerk.

“Do you bowl a lot?”  I asked, cringing.  God, what kind of question was that?

“Not really.  A few times a year, I guess,” she answered.  “Sometimes with birthday parties and stuff, but every once in a while Tyler and I go.”

“Right.”

“Do you?” She asked.  

I shook my head, pulling a ball out from the tray and testing the weight.  “Pfft, no.  I haven’t bowled in years.”  I wasn’t particularly picky with the ball I chose.  It just felt like the right weight, and that was it.  Caroline on the other hand, seemed to be making her choice based less on weight and more on the color or the swirls on the ball.  

And it became completely obvious to me that she was a nerd.  And I didn’t mean that in a bad way.  It was cute.  Analytical over a bowling ball.  It was obviously genetic.

I didn’t say anything about the ball she chose, but Tyler chuckled when she dropped it in the ball return.  

“You sure that one’s gonna work for you, maestro?  Looks a little heavy.”

She largely ignored him.  “It’ll be fine.”  I loved her already.

He just smirked at me and looked at her fondly. “Ok.”  He clapped his hands once. “I’m gonna get a beer.  You want something, babe?  Diet Coke?”

I don’t think he realized he even said that, because he was looking at me expectantly, his eyebrows raised in question; his hand scratching at the back of his head.  And the term babe was one that I didn’t normally accept very well.  I’d been called a fuckton of different things over the years, and dudes in strip clubs weren’t very polite with their terms, either.  I think the thing I hated to hear the most was sugar.  There was something built-in there that made it skeevy and gross no matter who was saying it, no matter what the reason.  And really, any term could be skeevy and gross; honey, sweetheart, baby, babe, sweetness, love, darlin’, cutie, pumpkin.  And those were the nice ones.  I’d been called a lot of other shit, too.  

Tyler’s didn’t sound anything like those.  In fact, I don’t think I ever heard that term said in quite that way, and definitely not to me.  It was like it just rolled off his tongue like my name did.  And I had to admit, that he did it then, not even thinking about it, and in front of his sister—I really liked it.  I wasn’t sure I was keeping the blush off of my face or not.  I nodded.  “Yeah, that’d be great.”

He smiled, nodding.  “Caroline?”

“I’m good.”

“You sure?  Soda?  Beer?”

She rolled her eyes at him.  “Fine, I’ll have water.”

He nodded again. “Water,” and muttered something about pizza to himself as he walked to the bar and Caroline was smiling at me.  I don’t think she missed the babe there either, but she seemed about as happy about it as I was.

~ ~ ~

Caroline was a terrible bowler.  Like, really terrible.  Tyler was also right, the ball she chose for its looks was far too heavy for her, but neither of us said anything more about that either.  If the object of the game of bowling was to throw the ball in the gutter as many times as you could, Caroline would have won hands down.  On the other hand, I also got the impression that she didn’t give a fuck about bowling, and really wasn’t attempting to do well at it.  Every once in a while Tyler would make some suggestion, but she seemed to ignore all of them, and as long as she was having a good time, Tyler didn’t care either. 

I just didn’t think this was her thing.  So I wasn’t sure she considered this a good time, but she didn’t seem to be having a bad one either. 

Tyler was not a terrible bowler.  He wasn’t bowling a 300, but he was never in the gutter, and he made strikes or spares on most of the frames.  He plunked down next to me on the bench as Caroline got up for her frame. “So is she as scary as you imagined?” he asked quietly.

I shook my head, smiling. “No, not scary.”

“Pretty harmless, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You feel pretty silly now that you were freaking out over a twelve year old, huh?”

I pinched his leg through his jeans. 

“Ow!”

Caroline turned and I looked completely innocent, waving to her.  She waved back like that was completely normal and went back to her frame. 

“You’re turn, Allison,” she said after another gutter ball. 

I threw a strike, which put me quite a bit ahead of Tyler.  I watched his reaction to the lame cartoon strike notice that flashed on the television screens above our lane, making it impossible for anyone in the whole place to miss a strike.  I couldn’t tell if he was amused or annoyed that I was beating him.  “What?” I asked, as we passed each other on his way to the lane. 

“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. 

Caroline had started doodling on napkins by the time he got back.  He nudged her.  “You’re up, maestro.”  He plunked down next to me again. “Hmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you jealous?”

“What, that you’re totally kicking both of our asses?  No.  I just didn’t know you were a semi-pro.”

I nearly spit out my Coke.  I mean, he had no idea, but it was still really funny to me for some reason.  I had a thought though, and cut my eyes to him.  “Was I supposed to let her win?”

He laughed.  “No, she’s not five.  And I don’t think her heart’s really in bowling anyway.  I’m not surprised.  She’s not exactly into sports, even non-sports like bowling.”

“So why did you pick bowling then?”

He shrugged.  “I didn’t know you were any good.  I thought maybe you could bond over sucking.”

I elbowed him and he laughed some more.  “Then make sure you don’t put me anywhere near a pool table.  ‘Cause I don’t suck at that either.”

I really didn’t know what was ‘appropriate’ in front of his sister.  I mean we were sitting on the bench together, and he had his arm over the back of it.  I was sitting in the space there, tucked into him, but we weren’t all over each other or anything.  He leaned over and pressed a kiss into my neck, but then stayed there, breathing hot air over my neck until I squirmed and attempted to squish his head between my head and shoulder.  He backed up laughing.  “Were you a pool hustler?”

I shrugged.  “You could say that.”

“I think that might be more of a sibling-less date,” he said, winking at me. 

“Yeah, I think so,” I agreed. 

He pressed his lips to mine quickly, and when he sat back again, Caroline was smirking at us.  “Tenth frame,” she announced. 

I got up and as I went to finish my game, I realized several things at once.  One was that we were out in public, and I couldn’t remember ever having kissed a guy just in public like that and not been either embarrassed or hustling, and not for pool.  Another was that there was a level of easiness with Caroline that was pretty much just like being with Tyler.  And I think she liked me.  Or at least, she liked the idea of me—the idea of me and Tyler. 

And I liked her, too. 

~ ~ ~

Caroline wanted to go to the MET after bowling.  I’d never been to the MET before.  But it really didn’t surprise me when Tyler told me that they had a family membership.  And it was really obvious that Caroline knew the place inside and out.  She could have been a tour guide.  

One of the first things we looked at was this painting of ballerinas by some guy named Edgar whose last name I couldn’t remember no matter how many times Caroline patiently told me what it was.  It just wasn’t a normal name.  And…I wasn’t sure that I really “got” art.  Caroline was like a faucet of information you couldn’t shut off.  I mean, I understood what she was saying about shit in the painting.  I understood the terms she was using or when she explained what something meant.  I just…didn’t care.  It wasn’t like I wasn’t paying attention to her or that I was trying to be uninterested, I just obviously did not share this interest.  I tried to nod every once in a while when I wasn’t getting lost in what she was saying.  It wasn’t that the art wasn’t impressive, either.  There was more shit in this place than you’d ever have time to look at; a lot of it was really amazing.  But I couldn’t imagine spending the amount of time that Caroline must have spent just looking and analyzing all of this.  

She was studying it like it was going to grow legs and walk off the wall.  And I’m sure this was not something new to her.  She seemed to know all about it already, so I wasn’t sure what the point of more looking was, but she was really into it, and Tyler was sort of just lingering near us.  This didn’t seem new to him at all.  

He rounded back to us about the same time Caroline announced, “I bet you’re a good dancer.”

What?  I did one of those eye cuts to him to make sure I wasn’t missing something, and she knew I was a stripper, but one didn’t really have to go with the other.  You didn’t have to know how to dance to strip.  Most guys didn’t give a shit how you were moving your body as long as clothes were falling at your feet.  “Um, thanks?”

Caroline nodded, smiling.  “You have really long legs, and you look like you know how to dance.”

And then she was gone, on to the next painting.  

I stood there blinking for a second, and then turned to Tyler, my eyebrows pulling down.  “I think your sister’s checking me out.  That could have been mistaken for a pass at me.”

He smirked, chuckling, and put his arm around my shoulder as we started to follow Caroline.  He took a deep breath and let it out with, “You’re so weird.”

I craned to look up at him. “I’m weird?  I think that’s genetic in your family.”

He squeezed my shoulder. “Yeah, probably.  I think she was just trying to be nice.”

That was probably genetic in his family, too.  

Caroline was suddenly back by us nearly vibrating with excitement.  “Tyler!  Allison!  I forgot!  The Tobey Collection is being exhibited!”

Tyler managed to sound way more excited than I felt at that information.  “Great!”

As she buzzed off to where I assumed The Tobey Collection lived, I asked, “K, who the fuck is Tobey and why does he have a collection?”

Tyler smirked. “I actually have no idea.  I’m guessing that it’s drawings instead of some other kind of art.  She’s always more excited about the drawings.”

“Does she draw?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “All the time.  Like, all. the. time.”

That made much more sense.  And apparently we weren’t coming fast enough because she was there again, grabbing one of each of our hands and hauling us over to the start of the collection.

“These are great!  And they were all in private hands before the Tobey’s collected them.  They range from the sixteenth to eighteenth centuries and are from all the centers of Italian art.  The subject matter is so extensive.”

I whispered to Tyler, “She’s twelve, right?”

He nodded, smiling gently.  “She’s really into art.”

“Ya think?”

“Oh!  Jusepe de Ribera!  He continued what da Vinci used to do, and was interested in people with deformities.  This is red chalk.  Look at the detail!  And this one!  This is pen, but done by Guercino.  This was part of a preparatory study he did for the lost painting of Sisyphus.  A lot of critics say this doesn’t have the same strength as other works because the definition is so poor, but I kind of like that it’s not as defined.  I like that the boulder is really the focus almost instead of him—you can’t see his face at all and you just get a real sense of the myth, the weight of his punishment.  His burden.  For a mythic portrait, it really illustrates life drawing.”

I was going to say it was nice, but that just seemed really fucking lame now.  Tyler chose to stay silent as well.  I waited until she seemed to be done with that drawing and then asked.  “So are you into myths, too?”  I jerked a thumb in Tyler’s direction. “This one names people in his phone after myths.”

She rolled her eyes, giggling. “No.  I love the artwork about myths, a lot of it is really rich, but I find the stories kind of…far-fetched?”

Tyler made a scoffing noise. “They’re myths!  They’re going to be far-fetched!”

She ignored him.  I loved this girl.  “It’s just too unbelievable.  That stuff never happens.”

“It’s not supposed to happen!” he chimed in again.  “They’re metaphors!  They’re not meant to take literally; they teach lessons!  Allegories!”

The argument was over when she squealed at another exhibit; this one a special selection of drawings and prints by a bunch of other people I’d never heard of.  I knew Michelangelo, because he was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and Rembrandt—he painted shit.  

This “special selection” had a lot of tomb designs and altars.  It was actually kinda morbid, but Caroline was fascinated, and she talked very little as we walked through the exhibit, except for a few comments about how she loved Rembrandt’s drawings.  Sometime during, Tyler grabbed my hand, and when I looked over to smile at him, he wasn’t even paying attention, which made me smile even more because that meant it’d been totally just something he wanted to do.  Like it was natural.  I smiled through the entire exhibit and I don’t think I really took in any of the drawings after that.  

~ ~ ~

I wasn’t sure exactly how this was going to go when we dropped Caroline off at home.  I mean, I figured Tyler would probably go in with her, but I wasn’t planning on tagging along yet.  Their house looked amazing, and pretty much what I expected: Brownstone, expensive.  I was sure the inside would be amazing.  

Caroline went up to the door and noticed that both Tyler and I were hanging back.

“You can totally go in, Tyler.  I’ll just wait for you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“You’re not coming in?” she asked.

“Another day, maestro.  I don’t want to overdose her on Hawkins family members all in one day.”

Caroline rolled her eyes at him a lot.  This was no exception.  “You’re really not going to bring her in?”

He shook his head. “I’m really not.”

“Mom’s going to wonder why you didn’t come in.”

“Make something up.”

She scoffed. “I’m not going to make something up!  Why can’t she come in?  I know mom will love her!”

Aww.  

“I know mom will love her, too, but let’s wait for another day, ok?”

She whined, “Tyler!”

“Caroline!” he whined back.  “Seriously.  Another day.”

She turned the whine onto me.  “Don’t you want to come in?”

I smiled. “I’m cool.  Plus, you got to meet me first.”

She went back to Tyler. “Can I at least tell mom about her now?”

He smirked and looked to me. “It’s up to you.  I’ve been keeping you all for myself.  My secret.”

“Um.”  Talk about being put on the spot.  “I guess…I don’t…if you want her to know.” I shrugged.

He’d been holding my hand, and squeezed harder. “It was never that I didn’t want them to know.  I just liked having only me know.  If you want it to stay that way, then it’ll stay that way.  Other than Caroline.” He nodded to her.  “She’ll keep it if you want her to.”

I sighed.  Christ.  “No, I mean… No, I’m ok with it.”

Caroline squealed, and threw open the door, barreling inside.  “Moooooooooom!”  She ran back out quickly, nearly falling down the stairs, and ran up to me, stopped quickly, and then pretty much launched herself at me, her hands circling my waist, and hugged me.  “I’m so glad I got to meet you.  You’re perfect for Tyler!”  

And then she was gone again, the door slamming behind her as she yelled out for her mom again.  

We stood there for a second and I was sort of…shocked was a good word.  

“Pfft.”  I turned to look at Tyler, and he was smiling, but he was trying to look annoyed.  “The fuck was that?  Where was my hug?”

I smirked, shrugging. “Dunno.  Guess you’re just a loser.”

“Totally.  My own sister doesn’t even pick me.  Jesus.”  We turned and started walking down the street.  “I give it five minutes tops, and then my phone’s gonna ring.”

“She’s really great, Tyler.  I’m glad I met her.  I like her.”

“Yeah, I think she’s pretty great.  I’m glad you got along.”

“Was that a deal-breaker if we didn’t?”

He smiled. “No, of course not.  Just makes things easier.”

Oh.  Well.  Then I wouldn’t have had to be as terrified as I had been.  I hadn’t really thought that, but people surprise you sometimes.

“Obviously she loves you,” he added.

I dropped my head, shrugging. “I guess.”

“In case the all-encompassing hug wasn’t enough indication, I know my sister.  She loves you already.”

“She’s fun.  I can see why you like hanging out with her.”  I smirked. “Even with all the art.”

He chuckled.  “Yeah, she’s gonna be quite the artist some day.  Already is, actually.  She’ll have to show you sometime.  Maybe we’ll swing by the house soon and you can see her stuff if you want.”

Subtle.  I actually wasn’t nearly as afraid of his mother as I had been of his sister.  “Yeah, that’d be ok.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Because if you really didn’t want to, I can hold them off.  Caroline and my mother may make my life a living hell, but I can hold them off.”

“No, it’s ok.  Soon.”  I nodded.

“Ok.”

We walked in silence for a few minutes.  

“You know it’s, like, law now, right?”

“What is?”

“Our relationship.”

“And why is that?”

“Because my sister has proclaimed that you’re ‘perfect’ for me.  And my mother always trusts my sister’s judgment.  You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

“Shit.  And here I was just waiting until a better deal came along.”

“Well, I won’t hold you back.  But you’ll break a twelve-year-old’s heart now.  And my mother is very fragile.  You’ve probably just made her decade.”

And then his phone rang.  

“See?”  He silenced the phone.  “I’m not gonna answer all the questions right now.  I’d rather go home and remind you why you’re perfect for me.”

~ ~ ~

I felt kinda bad.  My room sort of looked like a disaster area, and it wasn’t like Jordan gave a shit, but I’d been in between my place and Tyler’s so much in the last few weeks since I’d met Caroline that clothes just sort of stayed where they landed.  Eventually I’d have to do laundry and give back all the shirts I borrowed from Tyler and never brought back.  I (or we) hadn’t slept in my bed for half the week, and I think we sort of went in streaks; we tended to spend a lot of time in one apartment and then switch it up, and never really had a reason for it.  Maybe we were both trying to escape roommates.  It wasn’t like I didn’t want to be around Jordan, or that things were off with us; they weren’t; it was just different with Tyler.  

I worked late the night before, and he had an early start, so I pretty much crashed on top of the clothing thrown all over my bed the minute I’d gotten to the apartment; and Tyler hadn’t come over.  When I woke up, I knew Jordan was home because I could smell coffee, and dragged myself to the bathroom to shower.  I stayed as close to the shower wall as possible to avoid the cold blast of water that always hit before the water warmed up, and backed up when I thought it would be warm enough.

“Holy motherfucking shit!” was out of my mouth before I could stop it and I nearly jumped out of the shower.  The water hadn’t warmed up at all; it was like fucking ice water. 

I didn’t even stay long enough to wash my hair.  I came out in just the towel, holding it together.  “Do you know there’s no hot water?” I asked Jordan.

She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Yes.  There’s been no hot water for three days.”

“Oh.”  Apparently the water heater was on the fritz again.  And it had probably been that many days since I’d been here long enough to take a shower.  “Three days is longer than usual.”

She nodded, turning another page in the magazine she was reading. “Yeah, I’m thinking it’s more than just a glitch this time.  I’m thinking it’s completely crapped out.”

“You say anything to the landlord yet?”

“I mentioned it was on the fritz the first day.  He hasn’t been up.  Lazy fucker.”

“K, well I’m gonna go shower at Tyler’s then.” 

“Must be nice,” she mumbled under her breath. 

I stopped my turn and watched her while she turned another page.  “You wanna come along and shower?”

“Your boytoy would allow that?”

She said it so…meanly, I couldn’t help myself.  “You want the fucking shower or not?”

Her eyes cut up to me, but it was more in surprise at my answer than an actual answer itself. 

I added, “Hey, the desperate can’t be picky, right?  Didn’t you tell me that once?”

She sighed, closing the magazine.  “Shit.”  She eyed me for a minute, but I just gave her a blank look with my eyebrows raised.  “Yeah, ok, fine.”

She went back to her room and I went back to mine to get dressed.  I called Tyler before I came out, just in case he had a problem with it.  I didn’t think he would, but it wasn’t exactly cool for me to just bring her over without asking. 

He answered after one ring.  “Hey, I missed you last night.”  He sounded out of breath.

I chuckled.  “I missed you, too.  Were you running?”

“To get the phone, yeah.  I figured it might be you.  How was your night?”

“It was ok.  Work-like.  What’d you do?”

“Took Caroline out to dinner.  She complained the entire time that you weren’t there.”

“Aww.  Well, next time.”

“Yeah, because apparently I’m just boring now, or something.  I’m not the brother or anything.”

“I’m just new.  She’ll get tired of me.”

“I haven’t.”

“That’s good.”  I paused and then figured this was as good a time as any.  “Hey, our hot water is out again.  I guess it’s been out for a few days.  Landlord hasn’t done anything about it, so I’m coming over to shower.”

“You want me to talk to him?”

Aww, he was so sweet.  “Nah, he’ll fix it eventually.  He always does.  I have a favor to ask though.”

“Of course.”

“Well…Jordan hasn’t been able to shower either for the last few days.  You think it’d be ok if I brought her along so she could shower at your place?”

There was a short pause, and then, “Yeah, sure.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“Ok.  We’ll be there in a while.”

“Ok.”

~ ~ ~

“That roommate of his—with the fixation—he gonna be there?”

I chuckled.  “Aidan?  Yeah, probably.  Although at this hour he might still be sleeping.”

She made a noise; something that sounded like annoyed disgust, but I let it go.  Aidan was harmless.  It probably wasn’t easy saying yes to this whole idea; she wasn’t exactly a cheerleader for Tyler, but she seemed lately to be able to keep her opinions to herself.  Mostly.

I bet she was secretly dying to see where I’d been staying.  I never told her where Tyler lived really, so I assumed she thought the same thing I had when I’d met him—that he was a spoiled rich kid, and lived in some penthouse suite.  Maybe her curiosity won out. 

We chatted off and on while we made our way over there.  Normal, boring shit, without her assumptions and snarky remarks.  It was actually really nice—it felt like it used to.

I could tell she was already slightly annoyed when we got there and I didn’t knock.  I just walked right in.  I mean, I’m not sure what she thought exactly, but I practically lived here half the time, so I wasn’t asked to knock.  Tyler met me halfway into the living room, and her second fit of annoyance was when he kissed me.  Of course, by this time, Aidan was sort of lingering and being annoying, and his usual dumbass self, so it could have been that, too.  He was practically drooling the entire time, despite her refusals. 

It wasn’t a long kiss at all.  He was very… It was one of those affectionate ones.  I was getting much better at receiving them, too.  His hands went around me and lingered for as long as the kiss lasted and then we parted, and then he backed up a nice, close, but not all over me amount.  “Hey.”

“Hi.”  I smiled up at him, biting my lip.  It wasn’t that I was… I dunno what I was.  I wasn’t embarrassed.  She was just different than the public, or Aidan.  I wasn’t sure why.  And I think he knew—whatever it was, and that was why he met me and kissed me instead of the other way around. 

“So, you’ve got water issues, huh?” Aidan asked her.  I turned to watch this exchange. 

“Yep.”

“Do you care about the environment?”

“Uh…sure,” Jordan said, looking to me.

“Great!” He clapped.  “We can share a shower then—save on water, save the whales and Mother Earth and all that shit.”

“Yeah, or not.”  Jordan shot him down.

“But…what about the planet?  We all have to do our part!”

“Fuck the planet then,” she said, shrugging.

“That is so rebellious.  And Republican.  Did I tell you I’m a Republican?  GOP all the way.  We have so many of the same values and interests.  I throw trash out, just, wherever, all the time.  The Earth has survived this long, ya know.  Hole in the Ozone?  Please.” He waved it off.

She rolled her eyes and looked over at us again.  “He like this all the time?”

“Yes,” Tyler and I both answered together, smirking at each other. 

Jordan rolled her eyes at us, too, shifting from foot to foot.  It was time to let her off the Aidan drool-train.  “C’mon, I’ll show you the bathroom,” I said, cocking my head for her to follow me. 

As we made it down the hall, I chuckled hearing Aidan say, “I think she likes me.”

Tyler scoffed.  “Like a hole in the head.”  He smacked the back of his head. “Ass.”

I gestured as we stepped inside.  “Right—the bathroom.  All the hot water you can stand.”

“You wanna shower first?” she asked

“Nah, I’ll just shower with Tyler after.”

I got this look.  The shift that meant our normal from before was officially over.  It was like a visible shift in her face from old Jordan to annoyed Jordan.  “What?” I asked, probably harsher than I meant it, but I was getting really fucking tired of the look.  Disappointed or suspicious like a parent that gave a shit.  I’d told her before she was not my mother.  And if she wasn’t going to be supportive or friendly, then I wasn’t doing this shit anymore. 

“Nothing,” she said, in that tone that was very much not nothing.

It’s not like she was gonna let it go at that anyway.  “No, what?  Tell me then.”

She shrugged.  “Nothing, just… you obviously bit the bullet then?”

I sighed, crossing my arms, and shoved the door closed more.  “This is like all we talk about now.  Why is my sex life so important to you?”

“Because your sex life before this was really fucked up.  You didn’t really have one.  Not a real one.”

“This isn’t like that.”

“Need I bring up the catatonia?  That wasn’t that long ago.  Has it happened again?”

“Ugh.  No.  And we haven’t had sex yet.”

She looked surprised. “Oh.”  She paused, and her face shifted again, this time to confusion.  “Then what are you doing?”

I raised a brow.

“Just curious,” she explained.

“We’re basically in the ‘everything but’ stage.”

“Mmm,” she said, in this thoughtful way, like that meant something other than it did.

“The fuck does ‘mmm’ mean?”

“Nothing.”  She waved me off, taking shit out of her bag.

“What?!”

“Nothing,” she repeated.  “I guess now I’m just wondering what you’re waiting for.”

“Me.  He’s waiting for me.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

I sighed.  “I dunno.  I just… I want to.  I do.  I have.  For a long time.  Maybe I’m gun-shy.  I dunno.  It never seems like the right time.  Or I really want to, and he’s so fucking patient and nice, and so not what I’ve had.  Maybe it’s like performance anxiety at this point.  I don’t fucking know.  I’m just not.”

“That’s not really an answer.”

“I know.”

“Does he ask for one?”

“No, never.  He never pressures me.  Or asks.  Or tries anything more than what I want or what we’re already doing.”

“So…what exactly does ‘everything but’ mean?”

I gave her a look that very obviously meant What the fuck?  I didn’t think that was a hard thing to figure out.  

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, I mean, are you bumping uglies and just got no wick in your box, or what?  What do you consider ‘everything but?’  Oral?  Penetration?  Anal?  That could mean a number of things.”  

“Jesus Christ, Jordan.  We haven’t had sex.  We haven’t fucked.  We’ve done everything but fucking.  And you know I don’t do anal.  I suck his cock; he goes down on me; he puts his fingers in me; I jerk him off.  We do it at the same time, all 69-ing it.  We make out constantly and for, like, hours at a time.  Everything that I never got before, I get from him.  He pays attention to me, and grinds all over me, and wants to get me off all the time, and I want to, Jordan.  I really want to.  I want to for me, for, like, the first fucking time ever, but I want to for him, too.  He’s just… He’s great.  And I dunno what’s wrong with me.”  I realized, I completely changed topics in the middle of that somewhere, and I hoped she knew was I meant.  

She chuckled.  “He any good at it?”

I sighed. “Yeah,” the one word coming out in a long breath.  

“Hours at a time, huh?”

I laughed, nodding. “Yeah, hours a time.”

“That for just the making out, or all the other shit, too?”

“Pretty much all of it.”

“Bitch.”

I smirked.  “He’s pretty great.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved me off.  “I mean, what are you afraid of?  That he won’t want to wait for you?”

I thought a minute and then shook my head.  “No.  I know he wants to wait for me.  I just don’t want to make him wait that long.  And, I don’t want it to be so long that he won’t want to wait anymore.”

“If you think he wants to wait, why do you think he’s not going to then?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.  Maybe because he doesn’t know everything yet either.”

“And?”

“And…what if that’s just the last straw?”

“Then he’d be a real asshole.”

I sighed.  “Yeah.”

“Do you think he’s gonna bail when he finds out?”

I shrugged again.  “No.  I dunno.  I hope not.”

“Well, you can’t let that be your reason—that you’re afraid he’s gonna run so you’re just gonna have sex with him.  It has to be when you’re ready.”

I nodded.  “Right, yeah.  I know.  Thanks, for, ya know, listening to me ramble.”  I sighed. “I better let you shower before Aidan gets more ideas.”

“Hey, thanks for the shower, too.”

“No problem.”  Before I walked out, I added, “The showerhead detaches.  Good water pressure, too.  Much better than our building.”

Jordan chuckled.  “So the shower is included in ‘everything but,’ huh?”

I bobbed my head, but didn’t really answer.  “I may have left a few things out.  Enjoy the shower.”  I closed the door before she could say anything else back.  

Tyler wasn’t in the living room where Aidan was becoming part of the couch, so that meant he had to be in his room.  He was on the bed, back against the wall, writing something in his journal.  “Whatcha writing?”

He smiled.  “Just scribbling.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him and stopped at the edge of the bed.  “Scribbling about me?”

He shrugged, closing the journal and tossed it on the nightstand. “Maybe.”

“Do I get to read it?”

“You can if you want.”

His knees were up from where he’d been resting the journal and I straddled him to sit in his lap, leaning back against his legs.  “I don’t have to read it.”

“It’s quite chaotic.  And probably nonsensical.”

“Sounds just like you.”  I winked.

He smirked at me in answer before his hands came to rest on my hips.  “You work tonight?”

“Nope.”

“You staying here?”

“Yep.”

“This is working out really well for me.  Jordan hanging around for dinner?”

That was really nice of him to ask even after letting her use his shower.   “I don’t think so.  I think she might work tonight.”

“You wanna go out for dinner then?”

“Nah, I’d rather stay here.  Can we order in instead?  Watch a movie or something?”

“Absolutely.  What should we get?”

“Sushi.  What do you feel like?”

He groaned.  “You always want sushi.  You know I don’t like sushi.”

“You don’t even eat the sushi.”

“But I have to look at it.  And watch you eat it.  It’s almost as bad.”  He was teasing me, a lazy smile on his face.  

I pretended to pout.  “Fine.  What do you want then?”

The lazy smile softened.  “We can order sushi.”

I smirked.  “You are so easy.”

He cocked an eyebrow back at me.  “Oh, I am, huh?”

I nodded.  “Yep.  I was barely even trying.”

“Hmm.  So what would a great effort have been then, if you weren’t even trying?”

“Well, I would have blown you, but Jordan’s in the shower, and Aidan would hear us.”

He laughed loudly.  “We could have just shut the door.”

I nodded.  “Yeah, I didn’t think of that a minute ago.  But the time has passed, and you already rolled over.  Sucks to be you.”

I was smirking proudly until I was suddenly on my back, his upper body pressing me into the bed.  With the way he moved, and the way we’d been sitting, my legs wound up wrapped around his hips.  I pretty much wound up moaning up at him, too.  

It was his turn for the proud smirking.  “I think the tables have turned.”

“Pfft, I’m still getting sushi.”

He chuckled.  “Yeah, of course.”

“So what does this prove?” I curled my hands around his neck, fingers interlocking over his hair.  

“Um…that your reflexes are slow when you think you’ve won?”

“But I still won.  I’m still winning.”

“Your point?”

I moved one hand from his neck to shove at his face.  “You are so lame.”

The minute my hand moved, his mouth crashed into mine.  And I kinda didn’t care about whatever the fuck it was we were talking about.  

He backed up a few minutes later, licking his lips.  “I’m thinking pizza.”

“I’m thinking you’re gonna be eating with Aidan.”

“Ugh.  I’d say get a room, but unfortunately, I guess this is your room.”  I turned my head towards the voice; Jordan was standing in the doorway.

Tyler’s head had turned, too, but neither of us moved.  

“Don’t get up on my account,” she said, smirking, holding up a hand.

“I hadn’t planned on it,” Tyler said back to her.  

I sighed.  “Kids.  Play nice.”

“She started it,” he mumbled.

Jordan rolled her eyes.  “Thanks for the shower.  If the fucking landlord doesn’t fix shit soon, you think it’d be ok if I borrowed it again in a couple days?”

“Sure,” Tyler said quickly.  “Door doesn’t lock—It’s always open.  I’d say call first, but that’s only because I’d hate for you to walk in on Aidan beating off.”

Jordan laughed.  “Thanks.  I think.”

Tyler shrugged, which looked really funny from the angle I was at.  “Just give us a heads up when you wanna come over to use it.”

“I will, thanks.”  She met my eyes.  “Be careful.”

I nodded.  “I will.”

Jordan turned and waved one before walking out.

“Can you shut the door?” Tyler called out after her, but she just kept walking.  He waited until the door banged and she was gone before he called out, “Thanks!”

He dropped his head down again to look at me.  “I think that went really well.  She’s totally warming up to me.”

He was trying to joke, but the whole thing came out much more annoyed than I think he intended.  “You think she’d be a little bit nicer because I’m graciously letting her use our shower even though she’s a total bitch to me.  And the fuck’s up with that be careful shit?”

I sighed, rolling my eyes.  “You already knew she was a bitch; ignore her.  We were busy.”

Thankfully, the way I was running my fingers down his chest was enough to distract him from that whole conversation, which was exactly my intent.  

“Yeah?  Where were we?” he asked.

“We were discussing how I was getting sushi.”

“We were?”

“Yep.”

“I thought we moved on from there.”

“We can save that for later.  I’m hungry, and we have to shower yet.”

“Hmm.  K, I think I have a solution.”

I raised my eyebrows.  “And what would that be?”

“I’ll order you the sushi, and I’ll order a pizza, and we can move the foreplay to the shower.  Triple win.”

I laughed.  “Such a good problem solver.”

He sat back, taking me with him, my legs still around his waist, my arms around his neck holding on, and just stood up from there, carrying me down the hall to the bathroom.  Somewhere along the way, he pressed me up against the wall, his tongue pushing into my mouth with the kiss, and well, I didn’t exactly protest.  

“Shower,” I mumbled around the kisses.  

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get there.”

One (Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen | Twenty | Twenty-One | Twenty-Two |  Twenty-Three  |  Twenty-Four  |  Twenty-Five  |  Twenty-Six  |  Twenty-Seven | Twenty-Eight |  Twenty-Nine  |